Am I Ugly?
In our modern, superficial society, nearly all of us ask the question "Am I ugly" at one time or another. While we seek to know "how ugly am I", and hope that the answer makes us feel good about ourselves, the honest truth is that we all are ugly in one sense or another.
It is often postulated that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Similarly, ugliness is in the eye of everyone else. To a mother, her children-- no matter how ugly-- are beautiful. When emotion is considered into the beautiful/ugly equation, the results are biased and inaccurate.
Internet Technology To The Rescue!
With the recent advances in internet technology, we are able to provide you with a reliable measurement of how ugly you REALLY are. Our web server has no predispositions, no biases, no emotions. The ugly rating you receive is purely subjective and based on facts, not emotions.
Our HTML research scientists have devoted years of effort in bringing you the most reliable measurement possible on your ugliness quotient. While we do not
wish to cause those scoring high on the ugly scale any emotional harm, our results will not be clouded by any attempts to be "politically correct" or to protect any individuals fragile self esteem.
The sad reality is that if you are asking the question "Am I ugly", it means that you have likely been told you were ugly by someone, or your low self esteem has made you debate your ugliness. The most beautiful people generally never access this web page, as they don't ask the
question "Am I ugly" or "how ugly am I".
Before you click the button below to receive your rating, please remove all sharp objects from your immediate vicinity, sit down in a comfortable chair, and take a relaxing sip of pure water.
Press the "Rate My Ugliness" button when you are comfortably seated in front of your computer monitor. You must sit still as you hit the button, as the electron beams from the cathode ray tube of your monitor (sorry, laptop users will achieve
only limited accuracy) scan your face and upper torso. Nearly instantly your results will be tabulated and appear on the page. The rating is on a scale of 1 to 100, with 100 being what ol Phil of Ellenville received the other day.
NOTE: Not for children under 3 years old. Your mileage may vary. Professional ugly people in a specially ugly situation-- do not try this at home. Void where permitted by law.