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The Cure for

Lunch Desk Syndrome...

While having a snack at your desk is a pleasurable relaxing break from the press of work, having lunch at your desk is a sign of overwork...  Yet while these two are tolerable-- coming back from wherever and finding that someone else has been eating in your space is totally intolerable and must be stopped immediately (or you'll be picking up crumbs forever!).

Common Misconceptions:

  • Lunch Desk Syndrome is related to bathroom proximity. WRONG-- Proximity to a working TV or radio is the culprit.
     
  • Warning signs will keep munchers away. WRONG-- Signs will only inform munchers that your desk is a popular lunch spot.
     
  • Returning early and demanding a portion of the munchers food is the cure. WRONG-- Most munchers will gladly pay a small stipend of food for the use of a good lunch desk.

DETER THE HUNGRY BY...

  • Placing our vomit (GLOP-1), Ice Cream spill or Spiders on your desk.
     
  • Placing Dog Poop or a Snake on your chair.
     
  • Setup your computer to dial your phone number every two minutes-- the constant ringing of the phone will deter anyone from sitting nearby.
     
  • Place an armed mouse trap on your desk and have a spray can of "Ant & Roach Killer" nearby and clearly visible.
     
  • Fill your desktop with what look like important company documents, leaving no room left for sandwich placement. Make sure the arrangement looks as if you are currently amidst work on them and that they should not be moved or have food stains added.
     
  • Take one of the wheels off the base of your chair so that it tips to the side.
 

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