Easy money from Gun buy-back program
With 15 million dollars earmarked for gun buy-back programs in the US, Colte Firearms of Newington CT has announced a special commemorative handgun. Designed to inspire entrepreneurial spirit amongst inner city youths, the new 25 cal pistol should net purchasers a tidy profit
when sold to the government. MORE...
Quickrete not Y2K!
Makers of the popular "concrete mix in a bag", Quickrete, admitted this week that their popular "fast setting concrete mix" has failed Y2K testing.
Waistline crack failures in the but end of the cured concrete were shown to occur 29 days after a simulated millennium change.
The company has issued a recall notice for
all concrete manufactured since 1994. For concrete mix manufactured prior to 1994 a Y2K update patch kit is available for free.
September 15, 1999 issue
Reno & Berger in space for Y2K
Janet Reno (US Atty. General) and Sandy Berger (National Security Advisor) are on the crew list for the Space Shuttle mission to launch December 28th.
Dubbed the "Millennium Mission" the lucky political appointees will celebrate the passing
of Y2K from high above the earth. On this mission, the shuttle will attain a special orbit that will follow the year change as it circles the globe, providing the occupants with a 24 hour millennium-transition period.
Both Reno and Berger will commence training as Cadets at the Houston Space Academy in early October. The training will be unusually short due to numerous credits for their life experiences, eliminating a full six months of Space Cadet training.
Dust Eating Spiders Created!
Midland, MI: Dupont Chemicals, known
worldwide for the invention of breast implants has done it again by creating a new species of spider-- one that feeds on common household dust!
Geneticists here have found the right combination of genes to mutate the deadly Brown Spider into a harmless variety that can easily keep a 3 bedroom suburban home free of dust perpetually.
"Our new spider is currently in beta test and is expected to be available nationwide in about six months" says Gene Poole of
Dupont. Poole adds that "there is only one annoying problem, in that the spider is also attracted to navel lint and has a tendency to nest in peoples navels, which is quite disconcerting to those involved".
The new spider is expected to be marketed under the brand name "Dust Eaters" and sold in egg form for $39.95 per dozen (one per 500 sq/ft recommended). --staff