Y2K INVENTOR FOUND!
Dr. Steven Schwartz of Xenia Ohio came up with the idea of storing the year as two digits to save computer memory back in 1968. He was awarded "Employee of the month" and $100 for his money saving idea by his employer. MORE
National Forests to be clear-cut
A new report issued by the NPS details the dramatic success that the "Clear the forest of the trees" campaign has had in Arizona, Nevada and New Mexico. The program is to be expanded to the rest of the country over the next few years. MORE
Air Force drops BASIC training
In a move that is sure to spur controversy, the US Air Force has decided to drop BASIC training from the indoctrination of new recruits.
"Recent advancements in technology have made BASIC training of our military wasteful and counterproductive" says Maj. Gen R. Eply of Ft Biloxi, MS. A newly declassified report concludes
that our soldiers are better served with knowledge of C++, Perl and HTML4 than with the standard BASIC historically taught.
In a similar action, the Army has dropped Morse Code as the primary communications mode, to be replaced by the more efficient Semaphore and Smoke signaling systems.
COLA WAR HEATS UP
Chinese firm goes head to head with Coke and Pepsi. "Amazing, tastes just
like Coke" report the critics. MORE...
CHIA PETS THREATEN NEW MEXICO!
Chia Pet dumping has started an
environmental disaster with grave consequences. MORE
The US Mint today has recalled the entire line of new $20 bills.
Recent Y2K tests have proven that the special "denomination identification strand" that is embedded in each of the new bills was programmed incorrectly and will render all the new $20 bills valueless in the next century.
All those with the new bills should contact the US Treasury at the special $20 Hotline of 800-555-2020 for information on where they can go to dispose of the non-y2k compliant currency.
Bill of Rights
says Supreme Court
In a historic move, the Supreme Court has declared that the Bill of Rights of the US Constitution is unconstitutional and deemed null and void. The primary complaint was in the use of the word "Rights" as it unfairly discriminated against leftys. MORE