November 15, 1999 issue
Great Pyramid Construction Secrets Revealed
Thanks to ten year old Alfonse Murghatti, the centuries old question of how Egypts great pyramids were constructed is finally answered.
While playing in the sand next to the entrance line for the great pyramid, Alfonse unearthed a strange bag with some powder in it. MORE...
arrives in March!
The new Sasquatch dollar coin will be available this spring and is sure to be a hit with the health conscious. Significantly larger than previous dollar coins, (which often were used as slugs for quarters in vending machines) the new coins incorporate a powerful rare earth magnet. The magnet is rumored to reduce the incidence of prostate cancer while solving the problem of impulse spending of loose change.
"This is a great achievement for the mint" comments Dr Myron Goldman of the NIH. "Combining money with magneto-therapy will save thousands of lives".
Similarly, Jason McKee of Banco Nationalle asserted "The long term benefits from the increase in consumer saving will be enormous".
The Sasquatch coin, named after the large footed one, will have an image of the reclusive Sasquatch on one side and a Ying-Yang on the other. The coin will be the first US coin made of red iron and is
conveniently the ideal thickness for kitchen table shimming.
The exact date of the coins release is not yet known as the US Mint is ironing out some minor design flaws that cause the coin to erase charge card stripes and interfere with air and shipboard navigational systems. -- Staff.